My early years. Bi-polar or drug enduced psycosis?

With the recent coming out of Theoren Fleury about his alcoholism, it has inspired me to write about my life, in the hopes that it will help others who have suffered from similar problems as me and sought answers. One of my earliest memories is from grade one, elementary school, where I lived near Devon, Alberta on a small hobby farm. I went to school on a Native Reservation, or now known as the First Nations land of Enoch, just west of Edmonton. My best friend, who I have not seen since grade three, was named Walter Horsethief. There were some other students that went to the school who were not native, as I was not, although there is some rumor that there is some native blood in me from a great grandmother. Anyway, I remember a native kid come up to me on the playground and say, "Indians are stronger than cowboys!!"
We argued a bit but that was about all that came of it. When you eare that age, you don't notice the differences in skin colour. I enjoyed school, and I my friend Walter, seemed no different than me. We collected hockey cards, played hockey, and did the things kids do.
My father is an optometrist, and my mother is a nurse, still to this day. When I was in grade four, at about the age of ten, my parents divorced. Of course I was devastated. From the story my mother tells me, my father was motivated by money. Another optometrist from Slave Lake, farther north in Alberta, had sold my father on the idea that fortunes could be made there and was eager to sell his practice to my father. Slave Lake has a large native population and they benefit from free eyewear from the government and there were no other optometrists in the area at the time. My father also has a big heart and likes to help and felt he could make I difference I believe to this day.
My mother had other ideas, not only did she not want to move up further north, she was from Edmonton and had family there. I should point out were very influencial lawyers at Field law and my grandmother was a Sutton who also has a rich history in Edmonton. She grew up travelling to Banff and was a member of the Alberta ski team and her sister Sheila was a member of the Canadian ski team and raced with Nancy Greene, the famous Olympian winning gold and silver in the 1968 games in Grenoble.
The point being, she did not want to go to Slave Lake and instead wished to move to B.C. where should could raise her kids to ski, or to Banff, which is in the end what happened.
There was talk of affairs also, rumors my father had an affair while he was visiting Slave Lake while he was working there prior to moving, and my mother got together with an old boyfriend from High School. Its all water under the bridge now, and my father continues to live in Slave Lake, where he has made quite a lot of money, and my mother lives in Banff, where she is a semi-retired nurse, enjoying the mountains.
The divorce was hard on me. My mom moved into the city at first where we rented a small house accross from an elementary school. I was quite rebellious at the time, I had seen the loud arguments between my mother and father, one time watching my father fire a shotgun into the air on the farm numerous times in rage and punch holes in the walls of the house. He didn't abuse her I'm sure but he did have some rage. It was the 70's and parties with marijuana and alcohol and liberal thinking were entering the minds of Albertans, but my father had a strict religious background with his father being an early minister at a church near Lethbrige. Divorce was becoming more common at the time but in my fathers family in the past it was likely quite unheard of, being from an English Anglican background.
I had a fight buddy in school in Edmonton. We would get mad at each other and we actually used to go to a place to fight on a regular basis. I also started stealing from the local store.
My mother found a new boyfriend who she met in the local grocery store near there. He was also a skiier and moving to Banff was what they both wanted. I had a hard time with him. He had been involved, to which I later learned, in the drug trade in Edmonton having beeing busted with five pounds of marijuana before I had met him. My father had told me that he would have liked to fight for me to live with him but since my mother had powerful lawyers in Edmonton, and also from what I later suspect fear, possibly of drug dealers in Edmonton. This has never been confirmed but I do still suspect it.
We moved to Banff while my Father moved to Slave Lake a remarried his high school girlfriend. My father, while living in Lethbridge growing up, got her pregnant before I was born. Back then, to be a sixteen year old girl and become pregnant, especially while they were not of the same class. My grandfather was an anesthesiologist and the pregnancy was covered up. From what I understand, my step mother Joan was taken to a school for young girls where she had the baby and put it up for adoption. The baby is now my half sister Glenys Bruce who is now a captain in the military. I have not seen much of her though as she has her own adoptive family still but from what I understand she lives in Calgary. The adoption must have been hard on Joan and my father and my be the reason why they reconnected although they still did not marry until after my grandmother passed away.
My grandfather, Frank Johnson, it has been understood to me, was bipolar. He was a brilliant doctor, becoming an anesthesiologist, and was also a scratch golfer. Some of the stories I have heard though were of a huge paranoia. Now that I understand the paranoia and somewhat genious of it, some of the stories help me to understand and keeps me investigating what may have happened to him. He one time racked up a huge phone bill by calling police stations all over Montana in the US and southern Alberta. He once drove is sports car so fast in a low gear to BC near Jaffrey that he blew out the engine on the car. He, like me, must have been a man who sought rightousness. He must have seen a lack of order and wrongdoing that was going on and sought to do something about it. Instead he was hospitalized at times for more than a year. I spent time at the same hospital outside of Edmonton named Alberta hospital, but for me it was only for a month. That story though, is something that comes later.
My Mother and Father were having such problems when I was in grade four that midway through the year I was sent to my uncles in High River. He was the principal of a school and my aunt was a teacher of grade four and I was in her class. I started doing good in school again and being in a stable family with my four girl cousins and my aunt and uncle was nice. All four of my cousins have since earned university degrees and doing quite well in life. The exception if you can call it that is my cousin Christy, who has a life partner who is also a woman came down with cancer and, from what I understand has been cleared of cancer, but has been left completely dehabilitated from the treatment. I missed my mom and dad though and soon after went to Banff with my mother.
I won't forget my first day in Banff. The kids were pretty ignorant I remember. I had been to two other new schools for me and the kids treated me well. I even remember having to choose between the girls at the school in Edmonton as they all liked me. I don't know why but I chose the one I didn't like as much. Not sure why but maybe its because I didn't want to hurt her and the other cute blonde girl would be able to take it. Kind of funny actually if you think about it. In Banff though, I had hiking shoes my mother got me thinking thats what Banff kids would wear, and Jordache(designer), jeans. In Banff the kids didn't wear hiking boots, they wore running shoes, and levi jeans were the norm. Southern alberta was quite different from Edmonton and still has its differences to this day. For quite awhile I had the name Jordache Johnson. At the end of school that day I was pretty upset I remember, but luckily, one of the girls in my class Astrid Grandi, saved it. You see, we were in a split class, and his brother Thomas(the famed ski racer), was having a birthday party. I wouldn't have been invited but I learned later that Astrid kind of forced the invite. I wasn't treated much better at the party but it didn't take long for me to fit in to this new town as I had a bit of practice moving around so much. By the time they found out I could play hockey and ski near as well as most of them finding friends was not a problem. In fact I find it kind of a gift as now I usually fit in with all of the differnet cliques in towns having experience in different areas of the province.
I was still rebellious though. I remember one night, after going to hockey practice, I told my mom I wanted to walk home. The only reason I did was so that I could go to the local store and steal a big box of smarties. The guy there caught me and I was devastated and told him I would promise not to steal as long as he didn't tell my mother or step-father. He agreed and I didn't go to that store again.
On most holidays I would visit my father. Sometimes we would go to Lethbridge where my grandmother lived. (My grandfather died around 1972 the year I was born). Other vacations where spent at Rosen lake where the Johnson family had a cabin. It is located in southern BC near the BC alberta border. A new cabin has been built there and is owned now by one of my uncles.
I have a step brother, Ryan, and step sister, Jodi, who I might add I thought was very beautiful girl. Kinda funny too but might make her smile if she ever reads this. My step brother and I got along quite well most of the time although I think I was a bit jealous of him as he often lived with my Dad over the years. He is older than me and was a bit tougher I found out when I challenged him to a couple fights. Vacations with them were usually quite good as I had a brother to hang out with. We had bmx bikes and pladyed tennis, road hockey and whatever other sport that happened to be on CBC at the time. He has always followed his mother though, just as I think I have, and now it is to the point where I have almost no relationship with my father and sometimes blame my stepmother for completely immersing my father in my step brothers problematic life and ignoring my sister, Alison, and I.
As I got a little older in Banff, and became a teenager, the rebel youth continued. There are a few stories that come to mind. One time, a friend of mine and I drank some beer at his house, and as we walked downtown I recognized that the license plate on car made it a rental car and I thought we should break the window. I kicked the car window and we eventually broke it and ran off. A local who lived nearby heard the commotion and grabbed me as I tried to flee. My buddy, who could have got away, came back and turned himself in with me. Our parents payed and the guy who had the rental car claimed we took money out of the glove compartment. A complete lie but whatever.
Now the drugs and alchohol. I must have been about fourteen when I smoked my first joint. My family had roomates in the house and we found enough to make joint. It didn't really affect me much but it seemed cool at the time. My mother worked nights or evenings as a nurse and I did not like staying at home with my step father so I spent quite a bit of time away from home a the local pool hall/arcade. There were usually enough transients who had access to weed that a couple of my friends and I would find it and smoke it pretty much any chance we could get. Now I know that it can be a psychoactive substance and cause paranoia and mood problems which may explain the fights I had with my step father. At least in part. He was a dick a lot of the time but he did mean well I'm sure. Also though, my dad has been a drinker since I can remember. When my step brother and I were teens we could drink a few beer and it was believed, as it is in many families, that if you are going to learn to drink it should be supervised instead of being out with transients who may be out to harm you. So anyway, the drinking started early as well.
Another thing that happened though is one time, a buddy and I heard there was a guy in town with LSD. We found him near the arcade. He was a tall American from Caliifornia who was older and wearing a poncho. I knew he was an American because of the accent. In my partial paranoia even today, I wonder if he was CIA. He sold us some acid and told us not to drive on the stuff. The stuff was crazy. We went on a hike up tunnel mountain came home, went to hockey practice and parted ways. That night I thought spiders were crawling all over me. It was not a great. I did do LSD on couple of other occasions. Once was shortly before I was hospitalized for the first time.
I did have some very positive experiences growing up in Banff. I was involved in ski racing and trained with people such as Thomas Grandi and Cary Mullen who later went on to become successfull in World cup skiing. The girls were great too. I traveled to Mt. Hood Oregon with Michelle Wiegele, daughter of Mike Weigele(Helicopter Skiing), who I still think is goergeos, but who I haven't seen for awile. The ski girls still elude me though. One snowboard girl still has my heart but my crazy past might scare her away by now but from what I know she is still single.
I had a couple of high school girlfriends. One is married now and has kids. She would be the high school sweetheart. We drank together and I lived with her in my first year of university. My first real girlfriend was the Staff seargants daughter(RCMP). She was pretty but had her problems. She tried to kill herself while I was with her. Not sure why I have to fix the girls and not get one who can help me. I guess its just been my path.
One thing that has been tough has been the police in Banff. Anywhere else in Canada I've been I can be quite drunk and leaving the bar and walk right by the police without incident. In Banff, it is a common thing for the RCMP to put you in the drunk tank just to I.D. you and find out if you are carrying any drugs. They, in my experience, are usually young and fairly new on the force. It gets a little tiring and you get pretty bitter against the force when it happens four or five times.
I made it though high school somehow though with an advanced diploma and after spending a year playing hockey with the Cochrane Generals and taking an extra high school course, I went to University in Calgary and eventually began majoring in Political Science. That, is where my story, really begins.

Next, Tree Planting in B.C., Mount Royal College, University of Calgary, and Foothills hospital, western alienation, and why my war still does not seem to be over.